The CalmWithDom Podcast
Hey I'm Dominik, an Emotional Intelligence Coach for highly sensitive women ready to break their cycles of overwhelm to cultivate stronger relationships (both with themselves and others).
On this show, we do deep dives into how to best understand and leverage your sensitivity to thrive with tools such as shadow work, emotional intelligence skills, and more. My approach is psychospiritual because I truly believe we work best with all the language we can.
We're letting go of overwhelm and stepping into an unshakeable love of self over here, so I'm glad you've joined us!
From my sensitive soul to yours, I hope this helps.
The CalmWithDom Podcast
Failing And Trusting Yourself Anyway (A Practical Guide For HSPs)
Because you’re so intuitive and self-and-socially aware, failure can feel like a slap in the face.
Feelings of doubt, frustration, and disappointment are only some of the emotions you can get overwhelmed by when things don’t go as planned.
So how do you remain grounded in self-trust when experiencing failure? Listen to find out!
In this episode, we’re talking about
- Why failure is difficult for HSPs to deal with
- How to navigate failure through emotional intelligence
- Why logical thinking isn’t very reliable on its own
- Why, sometimes, what feels like failure is actually you experiencing your intuition is a completely different way
Learn how to put in place "checks and balances" with your logical and emotional mind, de-escalate different levels of emotion, as well as several ways you can ground yourself as your fail forward.
With love, I hope this helps🌷
Watch this episode on YouTube
Awesome Resources👇🏽
FREE:
Want to learn about all the ways I can serve you? Let's talk! Book a Free Connection Call with me here🩷
For proactive pattern-interrupting during times of overstimulation: Grab your Free Emotional Intelligence Self-Reflection Workbook here💙
PAID:
Click HERE to learn how to become deeply grounded in yourself as a highly sensitive, highly intuitive woman by learning how to protect your energy effectively.
Apply To Work With Me 1:1! For those of you ready to embody your sensitivity for relationships that fuel you (with me as your guide in your back pocket).
Leaving a rating and review is how you directly support the show - and how your comment can be included in an episode!
Go for it, sensitive soul - I can't wait to connect with you.
MORE INFO:
Website: www.calmwithdom.com
Instagram: @calmwithdom
Read The Blog: https://calmwithdom.com/blog/
Email Me: dominik@calmwithdom.com
If you ever felt like you have been following your intuition pretty intently and ended up doing something wrong, literally failing at something, making a mistake or making someone you care about upset, or even yourself upset, it can leave you feeling like a failure. Highly sensitive people take failure and the feeling of failing harder than non-highly sensitive people, and when you're in the process of building your relationship with your sensitivity, it can feel confusing when you believe you're following your intuition pretty intently only for it to steer you wrong. I'm going to share with you how you can remain rooted in your self-trust even when failure feels pretty evident and things just don't go as planned. I'm going to talk about how you can navigate failure through your emotional intelligence and how, in some cases, you might not be failing at all, but instead experiencing your intuition in a completely different way. But first, welcome to the Calm with Dom podcast, where I help you harness your sensitivity to overcome your energy leaks and strengthen your relationships with yourself and others. I'm your spiritual emotional intelligence coach, dominic. Let's get into it. I think it's fair to say that approaching failure not as failure, but as a part of your process, as your progress, is beautifully said, extremely wise and oftentimes easier said than done. No matter what the form of failure takes in your life right, whether you're struggling in a personal relationship, you feel like you're failing in your personal life, your dating life, your social life, even at work right or in the pursuit of a personal goal. It hurts when you feel like you are failing, like you're not doing something right.
Speaker 1:And I actually recently connected with a highly sensitive woman and we were talking about how she was feeling over the holidays and, long story short, she was explaining how, because there were strained relationship dynamics within her family, she was often the one to have the final say about, like the final decisions about what happened over the holidays. And it has been like every holiday season where she's left to make the big decisions. It's very stressful because she never pleases everyone and even if things go moderately well, it's usually at the expense of her emotional, mental and physical energy. And she told me she's just afraid of making the wrong choice right, making the wrong decisions. And maybe that's not the first thing you think of when thinking of an example of failure, but the fear of failure is very evident there.
Speaker 1:I bring this up often because it's just true Our greater capacity for awareness both of the self and of, you know, socially, of other people. It can feel burdensome having that awareness when you just don't know what to do with all that information. And something that makes experiencing in real time difficult is when it doesn't feel like a one-time failure, but it feels compounding, right? So you're not just facing this one failure, this one mistake, this one unforeseen or unplanned change, but you're also kind of just adding this failure to the list of the last five failures you've experienced. Right, it's compounding. And so you're kind of processing not this one situation but like all of them that paints this narrative, this picture in our minds if we're not careful. That's why I'm really big on teaching my mentees cognitive behavioral therapy, because our cognitive distortions, they're sneaky, our limiting beliefs survive off of these cognitive fallacies.
Speaker 1:Emotional intelligence is having a strong, healthy relationship between your logical and your emotional mind, right? I like to say that we all have two minds, one that's logical, one that's emotional. But when your brain is, you know, processing this failure and saying, well, okay, as we can see, you failed again. Based on the results of your past experiences, your many failures indicate that you don't actually know what you're doing or that you are incapable of achieving this goal or that you aren't reliable. But the best decision is to quit. Right, call it quits, take the L, accept the fact that you're a failure because clearly you are like, there's so much evidence to support the fact that you are. That's what our brains do like, that's that's how our logical minds work. And if you had like all of your failures listed on a piece of paper, it's the logical conclusion, because why not right? Your brain will probably do this, especially if you struggle to um trust yourself when you're failing, which, if you're watching this video, I'm gonna assume that that is a struggle of yours.
Speaker 1:But I want to let you know that that would be faulty thinking. You know, it sounds super smart, it sounds super unased, but the problem is that it omits all of the key emotional details to your situation, and those details would completely change the narrative. Logical thinking is actually pretty unreliable without your emotional thinking, and vice versa. Of course, the world doesn't work in cold, hard facts. It just doesn't work that way. As much as you know, some snotty PhD or science bro tried to convince you of, or as much as they want to believe those things, it's just not true.
Speaker 1:Emotional intelligence is really important because you know it's been researched and shown that in the spectrum of emotional intelligence levels and IQ levels and you know we're all just, we all have a combination of IQ and emotional intelligence and we all fall in different places along those spectrums. But in the case of someone with really high IQ and really low emotional intelligence, they end up making really bad life choices, right Like their life decisions and like their personal lives, you know, are they're not good, they don't have good standing relationships, they make decisions that don't really make sense because your emotional experiences, those are key right to how you make good decisions. And I just mentioned this because you know we're not taught this right and I want to let you know if your thoughts, if your inner dialogue, sounds very matter-of-fact, very cold against you, you're probably working with incomplete information. In a future episode I'm going to dedicate time to explain the different parts of our brains and how quickly they operate right, specifically our emotions and our logical thinking. For time's sake, that's not going to be this episode, but look out for that. It should be the next one actually. But your brain is just processing failure and failing at something the best way it can and it's not doing a great job if it sounds like that and if you've ever struggled with, by the way, depression or anxiety, those are very logical leaning uh diagnoses and and illnesses. I don't know your background but as someone who has experienced depression for more than half of my life, with the the of anxiety which does change that experience of how that works out in general, know that I understand, right, I understand that that may be your history, right, you may be listening to your logical mind and neglecting your emotional minds and not balancing that relationship, and that's what I want to do. That's what we're going to learn how to do in this episode. I also want to admit that, like it is a beautiful feeling, it is so awesome when you have the chance to look back at all of your failures and connect the dots that way. But that saying of like you can only connect the dots looking back is very true.
Speaker 1:So it's going to be harder for you to navigate failure in real time, as it's happening, because you don't have the luxury. You don't have the luxury to really look back and connect dots when there is a failure that needs to be processed in the moment If you want to remain rooted in self-trust as you fail. Here are the two things that you need to do. Number one you need to stop the momentum of negativity right Of your negative emotions. And number two, you need to create positive triggers to redirect your emotions. Right, it's going to help you redirect it so that it becomes way easier to process and navigate. It's doing these two things habitually, instinctively right, that's gonna get you to put a stop to your energy leaks, because you do not want to waste time in a mental and emotional state that is draining you. You deserve better than that, and if you don't stop the momentum from from kind of like intensifying, you're going to get to a place where you identify with being a failure and because you're a failure, you don't deserve to feel good, and that is just not true. That's a lot on your sensitivity. It's going to drain you way too much, and I'm all about protecting your energy. This is also going to help build your emotional resilience.
Speaker 1:Being highly sensitive means that you are experiencing emotions at very great levels, and being able to experience negative and overwhelmingly negative emotions, or just having negative emotional responses to things without becoming crippled by it right, without spiraling into this mental or emotional headspace, is important, right, and, yes, you can do this right. You can experience negativity. You can experience and be impacted by negativity and not have it cripple you or overwhelm you. But first let's talk about the sponsor of this show, which is the Calm With Dom Academy. This academy is created by yours truly and it is a culmination of self-paced online courses that's gonna get you to better understand how your sensitivity is communicating with you, number one, how it may be negatively impacting you or holding you back in some areas, and ultimately guide you towards grounding yourself in your sensitivity, building a relationship with your sensitivity that's going to ultimately serve you and support you consistently within your relationships, right within your personal life, life and also in your career. My goal is to help guide you towards building a foundation that is always honoring your sensitivity, so that you are never self-abandoning right and, as a result, you get to access these mutual, healthy, rewarding relationships and energy exchanges that you are more than worthy and deserving of, even if your social conditioning or the people around you have convinced you or have tried to convince you that those things are just not possible for you because you're too quote-unquote sensitive. You live life amplified. That's the truth. You know it, I know it you get to experience joy, satisfaction and love in a way that 80% of the population cannot fathom. That is a gift, that is a strength, and I'm going to make sure that you are enjoying that gift, friends. So link in the description and the show notes to check out the Calm With Dom Academy and all of its resources. You got this. Let's get back to the show all of its resources. You got this. Let's get back to the show. Let's talk about tips and tools to remain rooted in self-trust.
Speaker 1:Number one is stopping the momentum of negativity, and stopping the momentum of negativity or negative emotions looks different depending on the emotions that you are experiencing. But first, what do I mean by momentum? Well, some emotions are easier to deal with than others and, despite what many people will suggest maybe you've heard gurus talk about this online maybe you've heard you know your elders friends tell you that changing your mind is going to like change your life and change some of the emotions that you're experiencing. As good advice as that is, it doesn't work across the board with every single emotion. Think of momentum like a snowball that you like roll down a snowy hill. It's easy to stop that snowball closer to the top of the hill because it hasn't really increased in size or speed. Okay, so it's easier to stop. If you tried to stop that snowball at the bottom of that tall hill, both the size and the speed at which it's moving has increased, and so you know worst case scenario you'd get toppled by the snowball or maybe get buried in the snow. That's momentum. One has higher momentum than the other, and that's how emotions work. For example, uncertainty has very little momentum okay, it's you can stop it. It's the snowball at the top of the hill. But fear has high moment. It has has high momentum. It's high level momentum, so one is going to be easier to stop than the other. When you're experiencing higher momentum emotions, which is just like high intensity emotions, your goal isn't really to stop it because that's so hard, but instead slow the momentum down.
Speaker 1:There's actually a system to identify emotions that autistic children are taught, and I thought that it would be really helpful for this episode, because it's exactly what my approach is anyway. So in this system there are three degrees of emotions. So first degree emotions are like low momentum emotions, and it sounds like I am calm and in control. Second degree emotions, or mid momentum emotions, sound like I am having some strong feelings, but I am still in control. Third degree emotions, or high momentum emotions, can sound like I am not in control of my emotions, I need to calm down. So this is what children on the spectrum tend to say, depending on what degree of emotional of emotion that they're feeling, depending on the intensity at which they're experiencing those emotions.
Speaker 1:And I don't know about you, but coming up, I was not taught how to self-regulate. I was not taught emotional management. The way that this system teaches these kids, especially the fact that they're neurodivergent children, is really important because, as a highly sensitive person, you are neurodivergent you are not a neurotypical person and so just being able to say these things, being able to state them, is really important. But I'll get into that later. I just mentioned that my family didn't know how to manage their emotions either. That wasn't something that was taught to us. It wasn't knowledge that was passed down to me, and things like counseling and therapy were not accessible options for me growing up. So learning these things, learning these emotional management and self-regulation tools later in my life really impacted my relationship with my sensitivity. It directly related to the relationship I had with my sensitivity, so that's why I share these resources.
Speaker 1:If you want to check out, actually like a paper that breaks down this system, this three degrees of emotions system that they use for children, it's really cool to look at. If you want to just read through it, that'll be linked in the description. But moving on, how do you slow down the momentum of a high you know a high intensity emotion like fear, panic, anger, right, I know that a lot of highly sensitive people do struggle with feeling anger. Just because it's such, again, the intensity, we experience it really at high degrees. And I say I'll say to that do not focus on stopping the emotion, you just want to work backward to lower the intensity. So do not think about going from fear to confidence. Right, that's too big of a jump, it's not realistic. That's why when someone's freaking out, the worst thing you can tell them is just calm down. It's so far from your current emotional state or their emotional state. That number one, it's just super unhelpful to say. And then, number two, you can potentially increase the momentum, right, increase the emotional intensity that they're in, because you're kind of just highlighting that the situation feels impossible for them to get out of. Right, you're mentioning calm down, but that is so far away from a high intensity emotion. Having that being highlighted to you when you're freaking out or having a high momentum emotion can also encourage you to feel like a failure because, again, it's like it feels impossible to calm down. So I failed at that too. We want to avoid that. Do not do that to yourself. Do not do that to other people too. Don't do it and also like share this information. People do this all the time and it's so not good. Instead, I want you to think that going from fearful to anxious is way easier. That's an easier transition.
Speaker 1:If you've ever thought, like, how can I feel good right now if I feel like shit, the answer will always be start by feeling a little less shitty. This is how you do that. You start by grounding and practicing self-compassion. Okay, what self-compassion can sound like is, you know, recognizing your feelings. If you feel like an infinite failure and are panicking about that right now, okay, well, fine, right, you have every right to fail. Right, you are not too good to fail and you are not so much of a failure that you've, like lost all opportunities to fail. You have every right to fail. Always, you probably feel like you can't afford to fail right now. But the good news is that even when you're doing great and life is good, you're still gonna fail, right Like? Failure is gonna be a part of your life, no matter what. As long as you continue to challenge yourself and grow, there's probably no need to panic about failing right now, because you're always going to fail. You'll always have the opportunity to fail, so maybe let's not panic.
Speaker 1:Maybe saying those things as I'm saying them, right, speaking to yourself in this way will get you to lower the intensity a little bit. This is how you need to be speaking to yourself when you're at the third degree, right. When you're at a high momentum, emotion, sure, failure feels bad and inconvenient, but as long as you are breathing, you can try again. Right, you can try differently. You can look at the situation that you're in in a completely different way. Due to that failure, you now have more information to work with, right? So, speaking to yourself in that way, this is not like we're not changing the situation and making yourself feel amazing, but what we're doing is lowering the intensity, practicing self-compassion so that you can, like, ease up on the pressure. This also expands your reality to just panicking.
Speaker 1:When you're panicked right Like we think about the feeling of panic, that feeling is usually related to, or tied to, feeling stuck right, like there's no way out and you gotta get out, so there's like a helplessness there. You wanna reduce that because, even as you're failing, you will always have options. Even if you can't see the options right now, you know from past experience that you have options and that you've gone through it right. And I want to say this because this may help in navigating your third degree emotions, your high momentum emotions. There are no rules against feeling bad, and the reason I say that is because I know a lot of my audience are highly intuitive, spiritual people.
Speaker 1:Maybe you're, you consider yourself to be spiritual whatever that word really means to you, because it's so general and vague anyway or if you practice a religion and consider yourself to be religious, I know that you may have experienced something called spiritual bypassing, which, in other words, is just toxic positivity. I kind of know how this can look on both spiritual side and the religious side, as I grew up in, you know, I grew up in a christian household, um, and in church I know. If you're a spiritual person, you've probably heard someone say whether you know to you personally, or maybe you've seen online this message of if you're a healed person, then like you shouldn't feel low vibrational, right, sadness, anger, frustration, annoyance, like those are low vibrational, like you'll attract bad things if you feel bad. And if you're really healed, whatever that means, you shouldn't feel bad. And on the religious side, if you've experienced things like fear or anger, you may have been told by you know trusted people in your church, for example, or who practice your religion, that that's a demon or the devil working inside of you, right, that you're kind of just, you're overcome with this evil entity that's controlling you, that feels, you know that. That just feels kind of powerless, kind of hopeless. And again, these are just phrases that you know. It doesn't matter the intent. The intent may not be malicious at all and they you know people are truly just doing their best to help you. But these are the kind of phrases and the kind of mindsets that can not that they always do but that they can encourage shame when we are feeling negative emotions, especially as highly sensitive people who are feeling them and are being impacted by them so greatly. And so, yeah, I just want to say that there's no shame in feeling bad. You are a human being who gets to feel the full range of emotions, right? If anything, that is your superpower, that you get to in ways that people don't always and that doesn't make you a bad person, and you can experience those emotions without them having to control you.
Speaker 1:So, when it comes to grounding right, that was just on self-compassion, practicing self-compassion. But as you are practicing self-compassion, you also want to get grounded very physically, mentally, emotionally, right, this is all working together. So grounding may look like you know, your hand over your heart for at least 30 seconds or a couple minutes. It can look like going for a walk my voice is clearly leaving me, excuse me, I'm gonna drink some water but, yeah, like also like sitting down and kind of just like fiddling with a toy or a ball Fidget spinners are really great for this because you can kind of just mindlessly do something with your hands but like sweeping, even, just like lying down and your head under the covers and just whatever you need to do to ultimately bring your awareness away from your emotions to maybe your physical body, away from your emotions to maybe your physical body, maybe your breathing, for a prolonged period of time or just enough time so that you can get through the higher intensity of the emotions that you're feeling, because it will pass, it will dissipate.
Speaker 1:Now, moving on to medium level, momentum right. So you've done your 60 seconds, your five minutes, your full hour, your half a day, your 24 hours of grounding, whatever time you need to get out of that panic, to get out of that overwhelm. And maybe you're still thinking of your failure and it still makes you anxious. But that is okay. Anxious is approachable and we can work through it. Why? Because you're anxious, or maybe you know you're not just anxious, maybe you're just feeling annoyed, maybe you're feeling frustrated, but your breathing is balanced, your heart rate is down right, the blood in your body is oxidant, ox. Why do I struggle with this word oxygenated, oxygenated, not oxygenated, that's not a word, guys.
Speaker 1:Oxygenated and being in this state means that your amygdala right, the part of your brain that controls your emotions, especially your negative emotions, is, is not in the driver's seat anymore. So you're not acting purely out of emotions, but your prefrontal your here. Your prefrontal cortex, your neocortex is now, you know, a part of the picture. Your logical brain has received all the data and is still processing, but now like they've caught up right, they've caught up or your amygdala, your emotional brain, has like slowed down. Either way, they're kind of side by side, working together now, so you can really approach these emotions more productively. This is when you can actually stop the momentum.
Speaker 1:A great way to stop medium level momentum is by leaning on your community, leaning on your friendships, leaning on your relationships, finding someone that you trust to share your feelings, share what you're experiencing, share those thoughts, because all of that is a little more clearer for you. You've like identified what's going on mentally and emotionally for you. But also because this is a really great time for you to get guidance from other people. Because not because, like I feel like you should rely on your community, but because you're at a place where you can use your discernment right. You can now open up to different perspectives, different options, kind of like way, pros and cons of things, and it's a great way to do so like use your community when you can. This will stop the momentum.
Speaker 1:Another option for you if maybe community is not very accessible or you pick and choose our community, but being able to cultivate your positive environment, being able to cultivate your community, that in itself is a process and if you want to do that, just check out the Commodom Academy I teach you how to do that and the Foundation to Success Bundle specifically. But that's a process and if you haven't done or gone through that process of cultivating a really good community around you, take it to your journal right, like a journal entry is gonna really help with taking this time to understand what are your thoughts about failure as a whole, how is your approach to failure overall, and then get specific Talk about your feelings, write down the thoughts that have come up, write down any patterns that you've seen but you may not notice patterns as you're writing down. It may be that you journal pretty consistently and through these entries you can look back at them and then find those patterns. That's going to be really helpful for you. This is a great way to stop the momentum when it's medium level like that. This is what's going to help you shed light on some of those limiting self-beliefs that you have, that's embedded in your foundation and those are the sneaky ones that we don't really know that we have until we're in these situations, until we're in mid-momentum emotions or second degree emotions. Now, lastly, moving on to low momentum emotions. They are the easiest to navigate, but still they do disrupt our lives. This is where you're going to practice your CBT work right, your cognitive behavioral therapy, your growth mindset, whatever you need to do to actively reframe your way of thinking, change your perspective, catch your patterns as they're happening, catch your distortions and your biases as they're happening and change your mind. That's when the change your mind to change your life works and it works instantaneously. And if you need help with that, I highly highly recommend that you grab your free emotional intelligence self-reflection workbook. That's always going to be linked in the description box for you to get you started on steering your processing to a more healthier, emotionally intelligent route. I also have an entire resource dedicated to teaching you the different cognitive distortions there are that you can face and how to work through each one. That resource is called the Foundation to Success Bundle, as I just mentioned. That's in the Calm with Dom Academy. You can definitely look at that, but definitely grab your emotional intelligence self-reflection workbook because that is free and you can use it right away to help you through that.
Speaker 1:Okay, now I want to talk about the second way to remain rooted in self-trust, which is to create positive triggers to redirect your emotions. Essentially, a positive trigger is an action, a phrase, even a simple word that'll, you know, quickly, immediately create this positive response within you, which is really great. I'll start off by saying that I actually do believe that the three statements in the three degrees of emotion system actually work great as doubling as positive triggers. Using the statements, I am calm and in control. I am having strong emotions but I am still in control, or, you know, I am not in control of my emotions. I need to calm down. Declaring them, saying them out loud or to yourself are also great for when you do need to ground yourself and redirect your emotions. So I would totally use those statements as your positive triggers when you don't know what positive triggers to actually practice. So it can be anything. Also, I will say that affirmations are going to be golden to redirect your emotions, right being those positive triggers and I know how cheesy that can sound, I'm not saying that. You know, staring at yourself in the mirror and saying affirmations all day is going to fix all your problems, change your life. But when you need to relieve the ton of bricks on your chest, they do provide, you know, that bit of relief. You want to relieve the pressure, and so positive affirmations can be chef's kiss, my favorite positive trigger whenever I'm overwhelmed, particularly by the idea of failure or whenever I'm facing.
Speaker 1:It is actually one of the seven universal laws, which is the third law, the law of rhythm. The law of rhythm and to quickly explain it, the law of rhythm explains that the pendulum, or the swing of the pendulum, manifests in everything, in every situation. So if you think about a pendulum swinging back and forth, the measurement or the degree of the swing that it moves to one side, it'll move that exact way right, that exact measurement on the opposite side. So that comforts me because it reminds me that the degree of emotions, of negative emotions, that I am feeling in the face of failure in the moment, I know that I will eventually feel that same or that equal intensity of satisfaction and contentment later, because that pendulum is always going to swing the other way around.
Speaker 1:I'm actually going to link my favorite article that kind of breaks down the seven universal laws, because I think it's really great to study, I think it's just really great to understand and also, like, if you're just curious and you want to learn more, maybe you've always heard of the seven universal laws and you don't actually know what they are. That's that article, that's linked below. It's going to be a great resource for you to just like find out what each one is, and I do highly recommend that you study them. Specifically the second law, the law of vibration, which is immutable that's going to be really good for you know, teaching you how to properly use positive affirmations, right? So actually understanding how positive affirmations can work for you, so that it's actually you know it's creating immediate change within you and your life, instead of you just like choosing some random positive affirmations and crossing your fingers, right? I'd rather you just read the article and gauge a better understanding of those laws. So that'll be linked below.
Speaker 1:And so those are all of the very actionable steps towards, you know, navigating failure so that you can remain rooted in self-trust. And I know that these tips and tools were very, like I said, actionable. Probably not what you expected from a video talking about failure, and I think the reason is that I really do try to make these videos as helpful as possible, and so I could have just spoken to you about, like in theory, our feelings around failure and, like I know, I could have talked about, like you know, the idea of failure, why we feel failure, um, how to approach and like think about failure in a different way, and it's like I just don't think that would have been very helpful because I feel like those things, like you know already, we know that. You know, failure is a part of the process, whatever process, at any time that we make the decision to improve, to do something we've never done before, to create our own realities, we're going to be met with failure, and I just know how intense, intensely negative that experience can be in the moment. And so I just wanted to make sure that you had useful tips, um, and useful tools, tools that you can take action with, like right now, as you're watching the video, after you're watching the video. So definitely leave a comment, let me know how these tools have helped you. Before I go, I do want to talk about experiencing your intuition in a completely new way, and the reason why is because I do believe that your intuition does show up in very unexpected ways, especially in ways that many people do not instinctively think about. So I've experienced many times my intuition and kind of mistaking it for failure, when it's actually just me following my intuition and that's a little more of a deeper conversation, but I'm like f it, I'm gonna add it in this video. So if you're interested you can continue watching, but you can totally stop here and, you know, feel confident and knowing that you have the tools that you need. Okay, so these are just for my spiritual, intuitive, highly sensitive girlies and guys and everybody in between who you know again, wants to understand more because, from the feedback that I always get, we are deeply intuitive beings and we always want to learn how to strengthen our relationship with our intuition. So this is a part of that conversation.
Speaker 1:In my distinguishing your anxiety from your intuition video, I do reference that video a lot, so I'll probably have it like come by or like the corner of the video, but it'll be linked below as well. I mentioned how in that video, how anxiety can tag along in your experience of intuition. I want to make it clear that you can feel all kinds of feelings following your intuition. It's not always super positive, it's not always super negative and like scary and weird, you know, but it's. You can feel the range of emotions.
Speaker 1:I do just want to highlight that intuition actually isn't a feeling but it is a knowing. Highlight that intuition actually isn't a feeling, but it is a knowing, it is an experience, right? It happens, you know, in a split second. Right, at least that's how I experienced my intuition. It just happens, it's a knowing. It's a knowing that presents itself in a split second, you know, kind of like without delay, like when it's here. It's here and it's not going to be that loud, anxious voice that's repeating itself in your head, or one of the voices in your head. It's going to be that voice that's very calm, very quiet in the back. It's not going to rush you, it's not going to try to persuade or convince you. It's just going to be there and it's going to be constant. It'll repeat itself over and over and over, not, you know, gaining in momentum, as we talked about, not gaining in intensity. It's just there. And I feel that a lot of times we are not questioning our intuition, but we're questioning ourselves for trusting it, for going with that voice, but we never really question that voice. That voice is just so certain.
Speaker 1:I just want to share a time when I experienced just one of the times and this is such like a mundane story, but I thought it was like important to share here. It's one of the times where I experienced intuition when where it didn't feel like intuition at all and it actually felt like I was failing. So I was commuting to work and I remember feeling a bit disoriented and flowy right Like my head was. My head was in the clouds and I wasn't necessarily focused, which is usually not how I start my days or how I feel.
Speaker 1:Commuting in a very busy city. You have to be very alert and aware of your surroundings when taking the train and buses. You know I'm usually very focused and aware of your surroundings when taking the train and buses. You know I'm usually very focused and aware, situationally aware for safety reasons, but for some reason this morning I was not and so I very comfortably again it's kind of like that flowy, uh, not being so like extra cautious also of like other people's space, like I remember getting on the bus and again, this is all out of character for me, but I would I like squeezed into a seat that was free, but it almost felt like at the expense of the comfort of the stranger who I sat next to or the I believe I like squeezed into the seat. I ended up fitting, but you know we had layers on, so it was definitely a snug fit kind of thing. I also like I almost got off of the bus at the wrong stop twice and this is a commute that I am I can do almost with my eyes closed because I was just so used to it um, so it just felt very again out of character for me.
Speaker 1:I felt disoriented a bit and I don't know why, and so eventually I ended up riding on the bus solo, which was another odd thing. There is usually always someone on the bus, especially in the morning. Everyone is commuting to work, but I found myself in an empty bus besides one other person. It was just me and this one other woman who didn't speak English very well, and I found this out because she needed directions. She was lost, and I don't know if she was lost, but she definitely was not familiar with the area at all.
Speaker 1:Upon first meeting her and having that first interaction with her, I felt grounded again, like immediately I just felt clear-headed and focused, and it's like she gave me a purpose that morning, which is so odd to say, except that that interaction kind of like snapped me out of this kind of airy or airheadedness that I had, and the result of that was I was extra or I guess you can say it was I was just really helpful with her that morning. Um, when you live in a city and there are a bunch of, like, tourists and people who aren't familiar with the area, you're used to people asking for directions. I'm definitely used to that and it's no problem for me to like help someone, obviously. But in that situation I felt like I could be actively a part of her morning, actively a part of her morning, um, and it felt like I felt like it was the most helpful I had ever been to someone asking for directions um, making sure that she not only knew what stop she was supposed to get off on, letting her know how many stops away we were, and like every couple of stops that we went by, I'd call out to her and be like hey, you know you're three stops out. All right, next stop, next stop is yours um, and she was genuinely very grateful for for my help.
Speaker 1:And I remember, as soon as she got off the bus, all I could think to myself was the universe really needed this woman to be somewhere, and I guess what I'm getting to with that is that it almost felt like. Had I not been so not myself that morning, if I hadn't been in that headspace I almost wouldn't have. Maybe I would have been too cautious or kind of too in my head or not connected to be as helpful. Had I felt normal or like myself that morning. And it's just a thought, that isn't really a big deal. I remember that interaction wasn't really that big of a deal, but just I remember thinking there are very few times where I feel as though my intuition is is is kind of taking me on a journey and that felt like a little bit of a mental, uh, energetic journey and it reminds me of what a tarot reader and podcaster. It reminds me of what tarot reader and podcaster Lindsay Mack says about intuition and how we can experience our intuition as a spiral, which is her words, not mine, but I think it's a genius way of putting it, because sometimes it truly feels as though your intuition is taking you for a ride, where your future is very cloudy, because your intuition is calling you to be extremely in the present. That's how it felt for me that morning.
Speaker 1:I didn't feel any of my usual energy leaks about the state I was in or even some of my behaviors. Again, as a highly sensitive person navigating public transportation, you know, dealing with a lack of personal space, I'm usually very considerate of the space of others and how I'm impacting other people and also very protective of my own energy. Right, so I won't dish it out. I won't dish out my energy if I feel like I need to reserve it so that I can last the rest of the day, if that kind of makes sense. What am I talking about? You guys understand that, but some of those energy leaks could have definitely looked like anxiousness, a little bit of confusion that morning, or even like a bit self-conscious when I hopped out of the bus just to like jump back on because I like got up at the wrong stop, and sometimes my awareness, uh, can lead to those energy leaks if I'm not careful or intentionally self-soothing.
Speaker 1:The reason I mention this story in today's episode is to highlight that in the end of the day, I was late to work, I had missed my first bus and all of the decisions that I made that morning didn't actually serve me well at all and I could have been annoyed with myself, disappointed in myself, extremely apologetic to my boss, and that could have led me to be even hypervigilant at work. But, to be honest, none of those things happened. For some reason I knew that I didn't have to feel that way and that my morning was supposed to look like that, that that would be a waste of my energy, right, that my quote-unquote mistakes served a purpose that morning and it had nothing to do with me and that I could live with that. A lot of you are going to hear that story. If you ended up sticking around to the end of this episode, which is honestly pretty long at this point, a lot of you are going to hear that story and think that it's pointless, ridiculous. But a smaller portion of you listening are going to hear this and there are going to be seemingly or insignificant moments and memories pop up for you.
Speaker 1:Basically, that sounds like my story too. This is going to be very confirming for you. I'm talking about those moments when you ask yourself why did I do that, like right after, or I don't know why I felt this way, but I know that it wasn't wrong. If you do feel that, if you do find yourself kind of taking a moment and thinking about what that was for you, when did you think those thoughts to yourself that you were not experiencing moments of failure or a lapse of judgment, but you were experiencing your intuition as a spiral and that is all you experienced your intuition taking you on a journey. And maybe you still don't have clarity around that. It's okay, because you weren't concerned or worried for a reason, and to trust that you are more than right to remain rooted in self-trust, even in the mysterious knowing that is your intuition. Thank you so much for listening and spending this time with me. All of the resources will be linked in the description box and show notes of today's episode until next time.
